John, Hannah: Historiettes

The First: John
Last night while we were watching the 11 o'clock local newscast, a fellow from PG&E was talking about how energy costs are expected to go down compared to last year--though it's still important to conserve energy as much as possible. "We recommend setting your thermostat at 68 degrees during the day", he said. The only thing I could do was put a hand over each of John's (um, rather cold) ears for a moment and, upon removing them, exclaim: "He said to set the thermostat at 58 degrees, just like I always tell you to!"

How about Put on a sweater when you're in the house? Now there's a great tip.

Heating this house is expensive. I can't imagine what it would cost to keep it at 68 degrees--the checking account and I are blanching at the very thought. We do keep it above 58 degrees all the time (though if John's not looking, it'll be 50 at night), but it's been an area of compromise; I want to be able to afford to buy food, John wants the house to be so warm we'll be wanting to play beach volleyball in the livingroom.

Still, he laughed last night.

The Second: Hannah
Earlier today, Hannah asked: "Why was seven afraid of eight?"
"I don't know. Why?", I said.
"Because seven ate nine", she replies gleefuly.
"I think you meant to ask me why eight was afraid of seven."
She looks at me. Says nothing.
I feel compelled to explain: "Eight was afraid of seven because seven ate nine and eight was afraid he'd be eaten next. Ate like eat and eight the number." I stopped talking before I said homonym, pun, these kinds of jokes don't make sense to me either or anything else.
She gives it another try: "Mom, why was eight afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine! Do you get it?"
"Yeah, I get it. Do you?"
"Yes."
Long pause during which she looks vaguely puzzled.
"Actually, no."